Vagtastic Weekend in Angelfire, NM

This past weekend I was in Angelfire, New Mexico, a nice little ski town in Northern New Mexico. Russ Rivas asked me if I would open for him for a few shows at the resort up there for the weekend. I had performed in Angelfire twice before, actually in Black Lake, at the Ritchie-Slater Winery. My good friend, Marc Shuter grew up there and set up some shows there. I'll get back to him in a minute.

So we had three shows, two of which were pg and one extreme show that Russ likes to do. I like it, too, I get to be a little dirtier than usual! The pg shows were held at the Legends Grill at the resort, we had standing room only crowds, admission was free. Everyone that worked at the resort was super nice, we got treated like rock stars up there! The crowd, however, did not treat us like rock stars, they treated us like fat Axl Rose. There was a lot of talking and way too much noise in the room. Not the best set up for a comedy show. Friday night show, Erica Viking from Coyote 102.5 brought me up on stage. She forgot my name, but in her defense, I think she had a few drinks and had no idea she was going to be starting the show. She did invite me to come on the morning show with her and Big Benny sometime though, very cool!

Friday after the show we were hanging with some of the people that were at the show. Including this crazy drunk girl, who apparently worked at the hotel. My lady asked her, "we travel the country with Russ and we screen the girls he hangs out with, he pays a yearly salary. The question for the night is, what's the grooming situation downstairs?" And she wasn't shy, "I shave on Tuesday and Wednesday, those are my days off." My lady replies, "that's great, but what's the situation tonight?" I'm sitting there just trying not to laugh, then the girl undoes her pants and pulls them down a little bit, revealing her stubbly vag. I looked around the restaurant, which was still pretty packed, and not one single person was looking! We had a pretty good laugh. We told Erica the story that night, she seemed to enjoy it. My lady was star struck, too, she couldn't believe she met Erica Viking, what a nerd! Haha, jk.

So, on Saturday, we were planning on eating at Willies, a local bbq joint, but on our way in to town on Friday we noticed that Willies wasn't around. I called Shuter to see what the hell happened to Willies! He didn't answer, cuz he's a pretty busy dude. We ate at the Pizza Stop near the resort, the pizza was pretty good. I was impressed. After we ate, I decided I was going to quit drinking soda, or at least cut down to one per week.

After lunch, I called Marc Shuter back on the mobile phone. We chatted for about an hour. He told me that he sold his movie! I'm so fuckin excited for him! I've seen the movie twice and I loved it. Very funny and well written. "The Bigfoot Election," check out the website link, and click here for a youtube clip of the trailer. We talked a little bit about school and stuff and we decided we needed to start writing together soon. We used to meet up all the time and write back in the day when he was still doing stand-up. He's the only other person I've ever been able to write with for some reason.

Saturday night we had two shows, one of the pg variety. The first one was a lot better than Friday night's show, but still had a hard time with the noise and people not paying attention. The extreme show was at 9 pm in a different room that could have easily held 250 people. There were about 70-80 for the show. Big Benny from Coyote got the crowd going with a few minutes of jokes, which was nice, it's always shitty to go up to a cold crowd. Actually, quite a few of the people were at the first show, so I planned an entire different set. It was cool to see Benny again, it had been a few years since I had seen him.

Since it was an extreme show, I decided to start off with some extreme jokes about child rapist, Jerry Sandusky. A lady got up out of her seat and started walking out, apparently she was offended, whoops. I asked her if she realized it was an extreme show, then the crowd started getting on to her about leaving. She then flipped everybody off and yelled, "Fuck you." She was also black, and the only black person at the show, so I all of my racist jokes right then. Had a pretty solid set, felt good about myself. Even got an email from one of the guys in the crowd today, here's some things he told me in the email: "Just letting you know we enjoyed you Saturday night. You were the only saving grace. You, I also youtubed and we found that you were a funny mother fucker still." I chopped it up a bit.

So, overall, it was a great weekend, saw a stubbly vag, Erica Viking, talked to Marc Shuter and offended a black lady on a child rape joke and no racist jokes. And for fun, here's a clip of Shuter on Art's Talk, I found it while getting the link for the movie trailer, enjoy.

It was nice to get away for the weekend, haven't had much free time since starting school. And my boss is a douchey cock smootch who always asks me to come in early just so he can sit on his lazy ass.

Here's a list of upcoming shows
2/2-Albuquerque, NM-Sandia Bowl (Headlining)
2/4-Taos, NM-Casa de los Cordovas (Headlining)
2/25-Albuquerque, NM-The Press Room (Headlining)

institutionalized re write

This is the assignment I'm turning in, song would sound a lot different like this

Institutionalized-Suicidal Tendencies
Sitting and staring at the walls in my domicile thinking about everything and nothing, my mother enters my space. Unbeknownst to me she was there; she startled me when she called my name, “Mike, Mike!” “Yes mother, what is the matter” She replies, “what’s the matter with my son?” “Mother, be assured there is nothing wrong with your son.” “Do not tell me a fallacy; I fear that you are under the influence of an unknown narcotic” “no mother, narcotics? No, I’m just merely pondering. Would you kindly get me a soft drink?” She yells, “No, I fear that you are under the influence of an unknown narcotic! Civilized human beings do not act the way that you are currently presenting yourself.” “mother, please get me a soft drink, all that is wanted right now is a soft drink!” She refused to retrieve my beverage, all I craved was a soft drink, just one soft drink, and she wouldn’t budge, just one soft drink!

The attire selected is a plain white shirt with long sleeves tied around your back as if you’ve been incarcerated for burglary. You’re induced with narcotics due to the lethargy of the staff. The staff finds it too tiresome to assist the mentally unstable.

First Writing Assignment

So, today in my English class our assignment was to pick a song, take about four stanza's and change the lyrics. We are working on our "Academic Voice." So we are taking the lyrics out, such as I, and you, says, said, saying, etc. So we have to re-write the lyrics, they don't have to rhyme or go with the song at all. I selected a song by the Bloodhound Gang, but there's no way I'm turning it in. Plus, I did use "you" a couple of times, here are the lyrics for "The Ballad of Chasey Lain."

Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to explain
I'm your biggest fan
I just wanted to ask
Could I eat your ass?
Write back as soon as you can

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine

Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to complain
Ya never wrote me back
How could I ever eat
Your ass when ya treat
Your biggest fan like that?

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine

Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to constrain
This letter is my last
As your biggest fan
I must demand
You let me eat your ass

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine

P.S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties
P.S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties

Would ya fuck me for blow?

Here's my updated version

Dear Chasey Lain, this letter is from your biggest fan, as a request that you allow me to perform cunnilingus on your anal cavity. Please reply at your earliest convenience.

You've experienced an absurd amount of penis, unfortunately, none of those belonged to me.

Dear Chasey Lain, this letter is a complaint about the treatment of your biggest fan. A reply was never received about the question in which was asked in the first letter.

Dear Chasey Lain, in this letter you will note that I demand that you allow me to perform cunnilingus on your anus; this is your biggest fan.

Is it possible that we could enjoy sexual intercourse in exchange for narcotics?

There it is! The song I'm doing for class is "Institutionalized" by Suicidal Tendencies.

2011 Recap

Now that 2011 is over and 2012 is upon us, I've decided to do a little recap of 2011. My wife and I moved back to Albuquerque in December 2010 and we've been living with my sister and my nephew. We were crammed into an apartment for the first part of the year, but now we're renting a house on the Westside of Albuquerque.

I didn't do as much stand-up as I have done in 2009-2010, I decided to get a job and make some money and get caught with bills and wanted to go back to school. Caitlin and I just started at CNM, our first day was today!! It was crazy getting back in the classroom after ten years.

I performed at some of my favorite comedy clubs Hyenas-Dallas and Fort Worth, Loonees-Colorado Springs, Wits End-Westminster, CO, Laffs Comedy Club-Tucson, and even worked a new club Fat Daddy's Comedy Club in Sioux Falls, SD. I even headlined my first club, MinneHaHa Comedy Club in Shakopee, MN. I co-headlined Hyenas Dallas with Jake Sharon on January 1, too!

It's tough living in Albuquerque since there's no comedy club here and I don't get to see comics that I have known for years anymore. I really miss hanging out after the shows. I met some new comics I had never worked with before; Theo Von, Charlie Weiner, Mike Smith, Bil Dwyer, James P. Connolly, Rocky Whatule, Chris Porter, Claude Stuart and Spanky to name a few.

In May I filmed a set for "The After After Party" a late night talk show filmed here in Albuquerque with host Steven Michael Quezada, from "Breaking Bad." The episode I filmed also starred, The James Douglas Show and R.J. Mitte, also from "Breaking Bad." R.J. was really cool to hang out with before and after the taping, really down to earth.

In June some buddies and I drove out to Hollywood, I was part of a live dvd taping at Jon Lovitz Comedy Club, thanks to my buddy, Dante! He was filming six different shows for dvd's he's putting together called, "Dante Presents." They will be done sometime early this year, can't wait to see them! Had a blast on that trip and Jay Leno was there filming, too.

In September I participated in the World Series of Comedy in Las Vegas, a huge comedy festival, about 150 comics were there that week. Saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in awhile and met some bookers. Didn't have the best show while I was there, but still had a blast.

In October I found out that I made it into the first round of the Laughing Skull Festival as well. I have been accepting for every festival that I've auditioned for which makes me feel pretty good! I did a corporate gig in October that didn't make me feel very good. I almost got my balls chopped off by a dumb redneck read about it here.

Spent the last couple months getting ready for school and not doing many shows at all. I've been trying to write new material for next year, I really need to make some changes in my comedy if I want to make it to the "next level." I think if I work a little harder I can do it! 2012 I won't be doing as many shows either, but I'm trying to fill my calendar for the summer while I take a few months off of school. So if you know anyone that needs a comic this summer hit me up! My dates are on my website www.funnyfletcher.com

Hope everyone has a great 2012! My resolution is to cut out all the filler from my act and my life and just be solid! I think going to school will really help my stand-up act.

Wits End/Laughing Skull

The last week I was on the road for the first time in months. I was a little rusty, hadn't done a 30 minute set in awhile. I was performing at Wits End in Westminster, CO, for NYE, so I decided to go to Denver a day early and see if I could get stage time somewhere. Chris Charpentier, Nathan Lund, Bobby Crayne and Sam Tallent run a show every Wednesday, and were cool enough to let me headline while I was in town. These four guys are extremely talented young comics and they put together a great show of stand up and sketch comedy. The show was in the upstairs of a building that looked like apartments, not sure if anyone lived there or not, didn't seem like anyone did. The room was really cool, just looked like a big living room. Saw a couple comics I had never seen before, one's name was Morgan I think, she was funny. I didn't catch all of her set, but what I saw was funny. The other comic was Kristen Rand(sp?), she was great. Loved her style. My set didn't go as well as I had hoped, but it was nice to get on stage and do more than a 5 minute set.

At Wits End, the headliner for the week was Steven Kent McFarlin, aka Spanky. I had heard great things about him, so I was really looking forward to working with him. John Crist was the mc, except for Thursday he wasn't able to make it, so my good buddy, Don Morgan opened and did a great job! That was the best I had seen Don do, I was proud of him.

Thursday night we had kind of a light crowd, it took them awhile to warm up, but I got them laughing. Got to see a couple friends that night, too, which was cool. Friday first show was a huge crowd, second show was the smallest of the week, but both shows were fun. NYE crowds were great, it seems like crowds on NYE get offended a little more easy than other crowds. Which is fine, keeps me on my toes. It was a nice time in Colorado, got to see some old friends, I really miss it up there.

Wednesday night before my show, my buddy Ron Ferguson got me free tickets to Comedy Works to see him perform with Steve McGrew! I had never seen Steve live, so that was a nice way to spend some time on a Wednesday. I had met Steve years ago at Laffs in Albuquerque, but didn't see him perform.

I had a couple days off before I had to fly to LA for my first round in the Laughing Skull Festival. Denver comic, Jason Keyes and I shared a hotel in Hollywood, not far from our venue, the M Bar. Jason is a very funny, underrated comic in Denver. I hope he goes far, he's funny, smart, and he's a good guy. He tore it up at the M Bar and he had to go first. The mc for the night was Chris Mata, who I hadn't seen in a couple years. I worked with him in South Dakota and drove him to the airport in Minneapolis. It was nice seeing him again. Met some other great comics on the show that night as well. Met Mark Agee, originally from Dallas, I had heard good things about him before. Alex Hooper had a killer set, I was shocked to not see him in the top 2 for the night. Allison Breen and Jennifer Murphy finished second and first respectively, both were very funny!

The coolest thing about the trip was hanging with Steve Abeyta, an old friend of mine. He goes to school at the Musicians Institute in LA, he's a kick ass drummer! If you don't believe me listen to some AnesthesiA! Steve lived only a few blocks from where I was performing so he met up with me after school. Good times were had! Also met Matt Lewis, another comic in LA. I've talked to him a few times before but never met him. I like the scene out in LA quite a bit, I've only been out there twice for shows and I've met quite a few comics and all of them have been really cool. I'm hoping to plan a trip out there in the summer time to do some showcases.

I was pretty disappointed in myself for not having a better set on Wednesday night at the M Bar, but today I got an email from Steve Hofstetter letting me know that I was selected for the 2012 Laughing Skull Festival in Atlanta! They had a different format this year where they took two people from the live shows that were selected by judges, then an extra comic was also selected, not sure if they went by tape or judges or what. But I got in and I'm very excited about it! I know quite a few comics who have been to the Laughing Skull Festival in the past and they said it's well worth the trip. Can't wait!