Sharon Jacobs had just graduated from a small college in Nebraska after growing up in Loveland, Colorado. She had always dreamed of being a stand up comic just like her idol, Johnny Carson. She had written material during college, but never had a venue to perform. She knew if she didn't start now, the dream might pass her by.
Instead of moving back to small town Loveland, she decided to try the big city...Denver. She had been to 5 or 6 comedy shows at the downtown Comedy Works and always thought to herself..."I can do this." One of her friends from high school gave her some info on a neat little place downtown for rent. She went and checked it out and loved it. She moved in a few weeks later, starting her new "grown up" life downtown.
She went to the new talent night at Comedy Works to meet some local comics and get info on other stages she could hit up. Everyone mentioned the Square Lounge, they have an open mic every Tuesday following the Comedy Works show. Sharon stuck around and watched the open mic at Comedy Works and loved every minute of it. She went down to the Square Lounge afterwards, a shitty little bar on a shitty street. She didn't like the feel of the Square as much as the Comedy Works, but figured she had to start somewhere.
She signed up with the host of the show, a skinny tattooed comic named Glen Buckmaster. He told her she'd be 10th on the list. She sat quietly in the back as the show began. Glen, the host, went up and did about 5 minutes of the crudest, unfunny material she had ever heard, but the crowd loved it. She patiently sat and watched the comics go up, some of the nastiest things she'd ever heard with Glen insulting all the comics in between. Sharon was starting to feel unsure about her set, which was squeaky clean. She was worried it wouldn't go over well, "what would Glen say about her" she kept thinking. She thought about leaving and never showing her face there again, but she couldn't. As she sat there thinking she heard..."please welcome...Sharon Jacobs!"
The butterflies in her stomach were going crazy, she hadn't realized she had already drank 10 cups of coffee, which is not normal for her. In fact, she rarely drank 10 cups in a week. She took the stage with confidence grabbing the microphone, "Hey give it up for Glen, I can't wait to hear what he says about me." She knew in the back of her mind she couldn't do her material here, so she decided to go off the cuff. There was a big guy sitting right in the front with a bunch of tattoos and a shaved head. Sharon looked right at him and said, "who let this faggot in?" The crowd erupted, she got her first huge laugh! She felt something she had never felt before, but it didn't last long.
The next thing to come out of her mouth stunned the crowd...vomit. She puked all over the microphone and the stage and pissed in her pants. All of the coffee finally got to her. She ran out of the Square embarrassed and was now on Koufax covered in piss and vomit, and actually looked normal. She ended up heading home, taking back ways so normal people would see her. She was so embarrassed of what had happened but she needed to do stand up. The thrill of the huge laugh excited her some much, but she knew the comics would poke fun because of what had happened. She decided the only thing she could do would be to get a sex change. She got the sex change, grew a beard, and changed her name to Jake Sharon.
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